But there are struggles with an older child too. They have a history that they can remember. They can process on some level what is about to happen to them. More mature kids can verbalize their feelings to caregivers. Perhaps they experience more the frustration at not being able to communicate effectively in their new home. Add to that the effects of jet lag and you have a recipe for disaster.
The honeymoon phase ended yesterday. It tanked. It didn't just end, it blew up in a giant fireball. It was a really difficult day. But then it was over and today was better. Today was a lot better. Change is hard. Change affects each person in the family in different ways. Sometimes you can anticipate the affects change will have, and sometimes you are completely blown away by the consequences. But it happens and you deal with it and move on.
One of the families that was in China adopting their child with us shared that they had considered adopting an older child, but were concerned about the child having a history and not being able to adapt to their new family. Yet they were exhausted after chasing a 2 year old around for a week. I hope that if you are someone that has ever considered adoption that you would keep your mind open to an older child. All too often they are passed over in favor of an infant or toddler. All three of our adoptions have happened after the child was 4. Isaac was almost 6. Yes, it makes me sad that we missed so much of their life. Once on Kate's birthday, we were discussing the time she was born and Isaac asked what time he was born. I apologized because that was another piece of information that I didn't have about his life and asked him what time he thought he was born. So we came up with a time of birth. Actually, we came up with several as he couldn't really remember what time of day it was when he born. You roll with the punches. Please do consider adopting an older child. They are an absolute blessing!
So now that I'm home and I can download pictures to my computer and have direct access to the blog, I thought I'd post some of my favorite memories from China not involving the new kid.
Outside of our window in Shenyang, there appeared to be some sort of distribution center happening. A truck would pull up in the morning and dump things in the road. Men on bikes would then come and pile these packages up on the front, back, or even a trailer attached to the bike and ride off. It was endlessly entertaining for me.
Here is another such distribution center.
As we were driving to Stella's finding spot we passed this market. Because this is how I prefer to buy my fruit too.
Did I post this already? I found the men with their shirts up quite funny.
All over Shenyang the women walked with umbrella/parasols on sunny days. Some of the umbrellas were quite fancy with embroidery and sparkles. I brought one home for Kate.
This was a vending machine at the Medical Building. Did I post this already? Sean and I found this fascinating.
On Shamian Island in Guangzhou, there are always people out getting their pictures taken. Usually we would see couples getting bridal pictures taken. This was an unusual photo shoot. You can see other people were also standing around watching this poor man in the too small clothes on a super hot day.
Finally, this is why we go through the challenges. These people mean more to me than I ever imagined possible. They are amazing and I have learned so much from all four of them. They are worth everything. Everything we went through to add each one to our family and everything we go through as we become a family again. Different than before, better.
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