Day 16 and continuation of Day 15

Wow! We have had an amazing roller coaster of emotions over the last 36 hours. Do you have a moment? I have a feeling this might be a long post. I'm really not even sure where to start. I guess I'll start with yesterday morning.

Leaving Kigali, it was tough, bittersweet. Our morning began with a long awaited visit to New Hope Homes. While we were all very excited to finally meet all of these children we had heard so much about, and whose pictures we had poured over, there was certainly a feeling of hesitation, not knowing how we would feel seeing Caria, our hoped-for-daughter. Upon arrival at the first house, we were greeted by all of the big kids. This was great fun! They were all home from Sonrise on holiday. I didn't think we would see the big kids, so it was a treat. They were all very polite, but working on schoolwork so we didn't stay long.

Then we went to the second house, the littles. Oh my goodness, they were so cute! They all came out to see us immediately and held our hands and hugged us. So cute! I took pictures of all of them and they wanted to see the pictures immediately. Then we had to look at the pictures of their friends as they named them all. Imagine 3 or 4 little shaved heads sharing space so they could see my camera. They were all just adorable. David, however, was not at all excited about being at New Hope Homes. He didn't like those other kids hugging me or holding my hand. HE wanted to hold my hand and hug me. I kept reassuring him, and he at least let me hug a couple of other kids and then eventually let me sit by two other kids. Big steps.

Caria was beautiful. She was just precious. She attached herself immediately to Kate and just smiled the whole time. Her smile is even more beautiful in person than in pictures. Her personality seemed equally sweet. She was just all around an adorable little girl. But she isn't ours. And honestly, that is ok. Kate and I agreed that non of the kids seemed like they were the right fit for our family. Yet we were thrilled to see how happy they are at New Hope Homes. They are loved and taken care of there. So as we drove away from New Hope Homes and on to the airport, we felt this amazing sense of peace and closure on the entire time spent in Rwanda. While I wish we would have been able to do a bit more touring and less times spent just sitting in the van, our trip was successful. Rwanda is a beautiful country. The people are kind. Apart from the adoption, our experience was wonderful. We all look forward to visiting this amazing place again.

We had an interesting exchange with the woman who checked our passports as we entered the airport. She remarked that we had children of many colors and how blessed we are. It was only later as we flew over the lush, green, sectioned hills of Rwanda that the significance of her comments struck me. We often joke in our family about how we have a multi-color family, but I guess it didn't occur to me how it would affect other people. This woman was clearly touched by the love in our multi-cultural family. She kept saying that God has blessed us. We couldn't agree more. We feel greatly blessed. Our reasons for having a multi-cultural family are entirely selfish, but it is nice to think that we may positively affect others with our choices.

Upon landing in Nairobi, we made it through customs. When you have five of each form to fill out you don't have to wait in line. All of the other passengers were LONG gone when we got to customs. Our driver was waiting for us and escorted us out to his car. As we were walking toward the car I was silently praying, "please don't let it be a small car, please don't let it be a small car..." We were walking toward a large group of small cars at the time. And indeed, it was a small car. We stopped in front of a small sedan and Sean gave me a look, but hey, we're up for an adventure. So 2 large suitcases, 3 medium suitcases, a rolling computer bag, 5 backpacks, 3 adults, and 3 children piled into this small sedan. David sat on Kate's lap. Isaac sat on mine. There was a suitcase and most of the backpacks in the backseat with us and one large suitcase on Sean's lap, but we made it to the guesthouse where we are staying. The best part was when David fell asleep and Kate and I took turns holding up his head with the arm we could move. But my kids had a great attitude for the most part, they rolled with the punches.

Somewhere between Rwanda and the guesthouse, Sean learned that we wouldn't be able to get a medical appointment for David today and on top of that we needed our case number which we have been unable to get from the embassy. We really needed the medical appointment to happen today because part of the appointment is getting a TB test done and that requires looking at the test site 48 hours after the test is administered. The medical appointment has to be done before David gets his visa and they only do TB tests on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. Friday was out of the question. Additionally, the embassy closes at noon on Friday so we need to get the medical appointment done early enough on Thursday that they can send the results so we can get his visa Friday morning. So the news that we wouldn't be able to get an appointment Tuesday really stressed me out. I couldn't believe we had gone through so much in Rwanda and we were going to have another stressful week that might possibly extend our trip. It was almost more than I could take. Then when we arrived at the guesthouse it was just as the reviews had described, very African, not a big, glitzy hotel. I think I needed a big glitzy hotel last night. I was ready to find someplace different as soon as we got here. I had a bit of a come apart, but just for Sean, not in front of the kids. Sean encouraged me to give it a try for a couple of nights and we could move later if we wanted.

Fortunately, we had asked our contact to have the chef make dinner for us last night. It was a lovely, candle lit meal, just what we needed. Then a nice gentleman from London joined us in the small room at another table. He is a photographer who has been working on a book about the technology progression in Africa. He has traveled quite a bit around the continent and within Nairobi and was a wealth of knowledge. He was such a help to us. We came away from the dinner very encouraged. This morning he was again at breakfast and offered Sean some great suggestions for coffee. I should add that the staff at the guesthouse has also been incredibly helpful. So while it isn't the newest place to stay, it is safe and offers us the services we desperately need - help around Nairobi.

My feelings of anxiety were quite high this morning despite our breakfast company. Our discussions with Martin served to distract me briefly, but then my overwhelming sense of being completely out of control returned with a gusto after breakfast. At the suggestion of the front desk our driver took us to a local shopping mall so we could purchase an adaptor, exchange money, and get Sean some real coffee (powdered stuff served at breakfast). I was in such a state that I was completely unable to enjoy how modern and western-like the mall was. While it was nice to be in such civilization, I really wanted to be in MY civilization, not facing all of the unknowns of the day. And as any good mom of three would, I completely lost it while we were waiting for Sean outside the electronics store. Yes, I am ashamed to say I cried in front of my kids. Not a lot. But enough to really upset Isaac. Kate was Kate, strong and faith filled. She has been my rock several times on this trip. My girl amazes me all the time. David just provided comic relief. But it gave Isaac and I a moment to reconnect, to snuggle. I told him he was still my best snuggler. And that changed something. It helped to put some pieces back together. We learned when we brought Isaac home from China that adopting an older child is like taking all of the members of a family and throwing them up in the air. You don't quite know where you fit until you land. Isaac had been struggling to know where he fit. It helped him greatly to know that he still held the snuggler title.

Funny David story break. When I explained exactly what was going on to the kids, Isaac suggested that we pray and grabbed my hand. So the 3 kids and I held hands around the table at which we were sitting. David immediately started speaking (something not understandable to us and didn't sound like kinyrwandan) and finished with "Amen!" and a big grin. He gets the hold hands and pray movements. It was quite funny.

After the mall we headed to the embassy. It took about an hour, but we received great service. We didn't have an appointment and the nice woman at the desk jumped up and ran to get our case number for us. She came back after some time with a little scrap of paper with our case number on it. Yay! One hurdle conquered. Now the big one, again with much prayer we headed to the medical clinic. As we held our breath in the back seat, Sean talked to the guard and she let us in but cautioned us that the lunch break had just started and we would need to wait an hour. No problem, we're just glad to be in! So we waited. My kids are getting so good at waiting. Even David was good. We took his backpack with different activities and he went through every activity several times because you can't focus too long when you're four and you finally have your very own backpack, it's hard to concentrate on one thing.

Long story short, well this part anyway, they let us start the TB test and scheduled an appointment for us to return on Thursday to have it read and complete the remainder of the medical appointment. Yipee! Prayers answered! Whew! Sean contacted the embassy and got our appointment scheduled there and all is well. We did receive and email later rescheduling our medical appointment which requires us to reschedule the embassy appointment as well, but I think that will work out ok. The biggest stressor was the TB test.

We celebrated by heading back to the mall. We purchased some shirts for David and a hat, because he found it at the store and immediately started snapping his fingers and getting his groove on. Had to get the hat. Isaac was able to find a book with pictures of cheetahs. He tried to buy a book at the airport yesterday but it was $57 and we said that was too expensive. We made him cry by not letting him buy it, but all was forgiven today. Kate found the book for him and he kept hugging her and thanking her. It was sweet. Kate found a pair of converse shoes she liked, but we told her they were too much too. Aren't we mean parents? It isn't even our money, they each received monetary gifts from both grandparents. But she happily purchased a shirt instead. She agreed the shoes were too much.

So after another lovely dinner at the guesthouse, punctuated by David peeing his pants, we are now in our quiet room without a tv. Yes, that was part of my meltdown last night. "How are we going to keep the kids entertained without a tv?" Sad isn't it? I couldn't imagine all 5 of us in a hotel room without a tv. The kids solved the problem tonight. They are watching something on Sean's computer. Ahhh, what would we do without technology. Kate did read a book today. I'm pretty sure she read almost the entire book today. Gotta love waiting.

So thus ends a very exciting couple of days. It now seems that we will indeed be returning Sunday evening. We are all safe. We are happy. And we are together. Thanks for all of your prayers and support!

Kate and Caria, two beautiful girls.

This is his "I don't want to be here" face. Notice you don't see one hand. It is attached to me.

Cute, cute kids. We so enjoyed our time with these sweet children.

First plane ride ever and he loved it! I hope he still loves it when we finally get home.